Do you think she will respond to what I'm about to say to her?

I know its hard for me considering you are like my inspiration and stuff. I never will be able to enjoy life like you. But I know that you have your life and I wish you the best and I don't you want you to just be pretense. It felt like a friendship but I know you're just being nice to me. And it hurts and probably will for some time because I believed in that friendship for a while. What I always believe to be reality is always going to be surreal. Don't worry and don't feel bad. I'll always look back to you whenever I'm down or what. Keep enjoying life like you always do because you made this one bashful girl believe in you